Sooner or later your wounded children will come out to play. The split off and non integrated parts of you will manifest. When supression no longer works. When stress breaks down your defenses. When calamity strips you of your familiar facade. During these times, you will feel the familiar feelings of emotional wounds rising up, reaching out for your attention. The outcome of the situation / opportunity depends on how you handle it.
The choices you have boil down to two basic responses. One is automatic, the other requires you to step back and become conscious or self aware for a few brief moments at least. This scenario is universal to all Humans. Those “waking up” and moving toward Human Adulthood will make the second choice. I love this quote from Father Bede Griffiths:
“To enter deeply into meditation is to enter into the mystery of suffering love. It is to encounter the woundedness of our human nature. We are all deeply wounded from our infancy and bear these wounds in the unconscious. The repetition of the mantra is a way of opening these depths of the unconsciousness and exposing them to light. It is first of all to accept our woundedness and thus to realize that this is part of the wound of humanity. All the weaknesses we find in ourselves and all the things that upset us, we tend to try to push aside and get rid of. But we cannot do this. We have to accept that “this is me” and allow grace to come and heal it all. That is the great secret of suffering, not to push it back but to open the depths of the unconscious and to realize that we are not isolated individuals when we meditate, but are entering into the whole inheritance of the human family.” ― Bede Griffiths, The New Creation in Christ (emphasis mine)
Of course it’s a great challenge to open up to these painful feelings. Especially when we’ve been trying to get away from them since they began. It takes a lot of courage and a good amount of trust that the process will turn out for the best, that resolution will be found. There is a light at the end of your tunnel of emotional turmoil if you can summon the courage to ride through the dark.
The uncertainty you feel in the face of the threat of overwhelming emotion is coming straight from your wounded child within. This is exactly what you need to feel. You need to become the parent and reach out with empathy toward that feeling holding it all in an embrace of comfort and safety. You could call this a sort of “emotional ju juitsu”. Some call it alchemy. I call it deep integration.
When you approach these times of restimulated emotional turmoil with consciousness and compassionate empathy, you take another step towards wholeness. The frozen energy begins to move and flow and melt in the warm embrace of a loving presence. You grow up.