Suffering: Who needs it right?
I mean isn’t the end of suffering the deepest goal of those who seek… enlightenment, inner peace, wholeness etc? In fact, much of what drives the entire world system has to do with bringing pain and suffering to an end. Even if that suffering is felt as a need for some consumer good that will satisfy a desire, or ending loneliness through a new relationship, or making enough money to feel safe. The list goes on ad infinitum.
The common response to suffering is to seek a solution. However, I’m going to ask you to take a bit of a leap and consider the idea that suffering can be handled another way. In fact this other way is a 180 degree turn from what we are taught by society and what our automatic reactive brains urge us to do. Your suffering may not be something to escape, it just may be a powerful message and guide to real transformation.
Wanting Suffering To End Adds To It
The negative emotions we feel cannot be effectively resolved through any form of resistance. The adage is true; “What you resist, persists”. If you look at your own experience, you’ll see that you can have some success in keeping suffering at bay through forms of suppression. Unfortunately, this road leads to a dead end. Resistance to suffering takes many forms and all of them are fruitless if not downright destructive.
People find their own unique ways to avoid, suppress or resist their inner pain. Whether it’s numbing through the use of drugs, distracting yourself through the pursuit of worldly acquisition, or depending on people around you as a victim. Another common form we use to blow off the steam of emotional pain is projection or scapegoating. In this way we dump some of our pain on those around us. But how do we climb out of this trap?
Listen to Steve Taylor a Transpersonal Psychologist from England as he describes his study of people who’ve experienced deep or powerful states of consciousness by way of “acceptance” of the suffering they were going through.
In this video Steve talks about people who’ve transformed their suffering through a deep acceptance. I’d like to qualify this “acceptance” by bringing some important nuances to light.
My journey from suffering to inner peace took a huge leap about 16 years ago when I learned how to turn around, look inside and begin to accept my inner turmoil and pain. I had my fair share of it too. I will not go into the details of my childhood here, but be forewarned, your early childhood experiences have a lot to do with your present day suffering. A lot more than you may think.
So, the first nuance I’d like to point out is that most of our suffering relates to our past because the experiences we are having in the present suck our consciousness out of present time back to a place where we have unresolved traumatic experiences. Our perception is colored by this painful past which causes us to see the world through this filter. We wear pain colored glasses and we cannot see it for the most part.
Nuance 2; Because we have this filtered perception, we have formed our lives in a way that compensates for this. Even our personalities are pockmarked with defense mechanisms and neurotic behaviors as a result. We sense this and we hide it instinctively in order to enhance our survival and our ability to avoid re-experiencing our inner hurt.
Nuance 3; Acceptance is the only way out of this conundrum and it is an art and a science. There are many powerful techniques that we can employ to undo our painful programming. I have spent the last 16 years exploring and perfecting them for use in my own life and to help those around me. I’ve found that just telling people to “accept” their pain is seriously inadequate if not a little naive.
We’ve spent the entirety of our years building up our system of survival and our lizard brains have us well trained to comply. The way out of this automated and compensative trap takes commitment and fortitude as well as a good understanding of the tools and skills needed to go the distance. If you want to take this journey and learn the skills needed, please visit us at: http://beyondlizardbrain.com . You’ll find resources and friends as well as expert assistance there. Be well, Be whole.